So this is the night my family starts to freak the fuck out….. On my dads side my great uncle dies. Then my parents and my nanny peggy go to my moms brothers house for a cook out while im at work. When i come i barely got to sit down before my parents come home. My nanny calls and tells me to get mom to come out to her house(lives beside me) so my pa want get mad…. So mom takes off running toward nannys house… In the end she finds pa cusing nanny and then trys to kill himself in front of her. All because he thinks my 64 yr old grandma was messing with someone at his own sons house with my mom, dad and sister there. Mom wrestled with pa over the guns. dad had to come take them away. Pa and mom where cusing each other. Now Pa’s going freaking crazy…. its his fault he didnt go with them to my uncles with everyone else and he has the nerve to even say anything to my grandma…. bastards got another thing coming
I feel alone.
You really don’t deserve forgiveness
Just got bitched at for coming home late! Apparently Mom told me to be home at 10am. But i never remember her saying any damn thing to me. In fact i know she didnt tell me because she barely even talk to me that day. And dad was all like people don’t want you to stay at their house all day, non of your friends stay pass 8am. They dont trust me and ive never done anything to make them not trust me. I try every damn day to do something right but its never enough….. And on top of that I’m beyond pissed at hailey, i try to be good to people but it always bites me in the ass….
Well you’ve been a bitch and a half for a month now….Then you decide to go to the beach with Taylor knowing how much I do not like her. And then you posting a fucking video of how much fun your having. When I took you to get your hair done, drove around your lazy ass mom, and gave you the last of my money you never once thanked me. Then you had the nerve to offer MY car and gas just to get your ass out of trouble….No but hell no. Your sometimes a shity best friend. Its a good thing I’m so forgiving
I’ve been thinking on what it is i want in life and at this point i have know idea. How can i make a decision that will write my fate. My thoughts are over powering my ability to live my life without fear. The moods of rage, depression, happieness, and frustration have washed away all that i beleived was pure. I feel like i’ve lost site of who i am. I’ve never acted this way before. So i ask myself repeatedly how am i to become a great person if the person i am today isnt worth the time of day. What do people think of me? Am i a freak or just some random girl. I don’t feel as if im real anymore. I feel like ive let down everyone in some way. Tonight when everyone was crying and having an emotional moment, i sat there unmoved by the world around me. i haven’t cryed for anyone but myself in months, maybe be even years. Im cold to the touch and all the way to the bone. I have dirty little secrets im ashamed of…. When did i become someone im not or is this who i really am?…….